@nevenly
Active 6 years, 8 months agoName: nevenly
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Would you want to in 3 months is a better question. There are many soulmates and each one gives us a life lesson. Give yourself 3 months before you make the decision to go after the one who called it quits because you do not deserve less than extraordinary, and you get extraordinary by standing up for what you want. But give yourself 3 months. You owe yourself that much.
You’ll know she’s the one by how much you chase after her. Do you feel inspired to call her? Make her dinner? Take her to the movies? Run to the airport when she tells you she’s going to the UK for 6 months on a business trip? Then it’s time to propose and see if she returns the feeling.
You could try to keep rekindling her feelings as you try to regain her trust, but you’d have to do that for you and not for her. Regaining her trust as you rekindle your connection will mean you’re ready to be committed to her at least on a girlfriend level. Are you ready to be with one person with an easy way out by breaking up when you want to be with someone else? Or do you want to date a few girls before settling on a girlfriend? Boyfriend or girlfriend is a pretty serious label nowadays. It’s a form of exclusivity without the legal obligation, which makes it more vulnerable in a way. It’s almost on par with the word spouse except spouses have some sort of legal protection and obligation to sort through things. Your best friend is in a very vulnerable place, and when it becomes apparent don’t take advantage of it. Be there for her. And when you’re both mature enough and have that ability to give each other spousal support even though there is an easy way out, then settle down and make it so it’s not easy.
Men have cycles like females do. They go into a cave every once in a while. It can last a day, a week, maybe even two. They tend to come back like a rubber band, but if they don’t get their space they become irritated and grouchy and push further away. Not all men realize they have these cycles, but it’s important you keep yourself busy when you notice these signs. It can actually be a very good thing, like he needs space because he is overwhelmed by how he feels but if you chase after him and beg to spend more time together, it could become more of a negative.
Sometimes we focus on the future too much rather than on the present. The future is in flux so much, but when we become present the future becomes clearer. I will give you some advice. Do not chase this boy. Chasing means calling, texting, asking him out several times a week. Instead, inspire him to do these things for you. Start by flirting with him. Smile and bite your lower lip when he speaks to you. Something tells me he might like that. Give him the courage to tell you how he feels by doing other small flirtatious things, like smiling as big as you can when he walks towards you and saying how you wish you could spend time together outside of school if you happen to eat lunch together. Give him hints that give him courage to ask you out rather than letting yourself wait around for him to say he does like you. If you do not flirt with him, he might not get the courage to tell you how he feels.
